46 YEAR OLD CHOKES KID AFTER LOSING IN CALL OF DUTY

We read in horror today the story of Mark Bradford, a 46-year-old, jobless father of three from Plymouth, Devon (UK). After being killed and then taunted by a 13-year-old opponent in Call of Duty: Black Ops, Bradford tracked down his teenage opponent (in real life) and proceeded to mercilessly choke him. The attack was luckily thwarted by the teen’s mother and Bradford later admitted to one count of assault.

It’s a grim story, and simply inexcusable. A grown man attacking a child like this turns our stomachs and should turn the stomach of any responsible, caring human. This is the end of our post on the matter, and it in no way continues after the break.
…OK, they’re gone. Sorry, we can’t be too careful and our bosses never read after the jump. Here’s our real post. We need to first apologize about what we said about Mark Bradford, because Mark Bradford is mother-fucking Batman.

Listen to this quote from him: “I’d been playing the whole day and he was baiting me and baiting me and just would not shut up. He went on and on and I just lost it.” Ever felt that way about some wretched, homophobic kid who has nothing better to do than play video games, eat barbeque potato chips and taunt employed people? Yeah, so has everybody. But only Mark Bradford had the sheer will and determination to find this punk’s address, get in his car and pour that little asshole a refreshing Choke-a-Cola.

We hope shithead kids tell stories in hushed whispers about Mark Bradford. “No, no, he came for my friend Danny! He teabagged him like 40 times and like 30 minutes later, an eight-foot-tall guy in a trench coat shows up and made him eat 40 literal tea bags … at gunpoint. It’s true!”

To Mark Bradford: We know you’re going to catch some flak from people who’ve never suffered in the way you were forced to, but know that we’re preparing a banquet in your honor when you get out of the clink.

To the kid who we hope now permanently talks with a rasp: When you act like a shithead to someone twice your size, they may try to kill you. Welcome to the last 2.5 million years of human evolution.

(SOURCE: JOYSTIQ.COM and Justin McElroy)

*Editor’s Note: Kudos to Mr. Bradford. A little bit extreme but finally someone had the testicular fortitude (or maybe just forgot his meds that day) to do what 90% of Call of Duty players have wanted to do from time to time, choke a shit talker. So Mark Bradford we thank you for doing what we in the sane populous won’t.

(FYFPS does not condone the abuse of minors. Unless they really deserve it… Like this 13-year old. And then still one should not physically or emotionally abuse a minor or anyone for that matter. Furthermore this article is done with utmost cynicism, we know that this is wrong but us twisted individuals think that this is still kinda funny. I mean seriously should 13 year olds really be playing Call of Duty: Black Ops or any Mature title?)

Also a thanks goes out to our friend Nikki at IRBGAMER.COM for the heads up on this article.